Ripples in the Water
by Czarna Pantera
Summary: In an instant she knows that she won't make it out of this mess alive. Not this time. But she feels no fear, only cold anger. 4x11. Some final thoughts of Amanda Waller before her death. Fan-fix of sorts, because this character just deserves a proper send off.


_So, it's another fic I completely didn't plan to write but the last episode of "Arrow" (4x11) annoyed me **so much** that I had to use fic-therapy asap. There is not too much things in the show happening lately which can stir up my emotions in postive or negative way, but the way they did get rid of Amanda Waller solely because of their politic regarding creating their movie-verse is something I can't come over easily. Yes, it was a hell of a shocking moment, but at what cost - one of more consistentely lead minor characters, the one you don't actually like - and you are not supposed to - but which operates in the gray area which is a part of this verse. Sometimes an opponent, sometimes an ally of the main hero. Not to mention that Cynthia Addai-Robinson's performance was always great, above the average level of the acting in "Arrow". So yes, I liked her portrayal, I liked when she was making life difficult for Oliver, I liked when from time to time she provided him some support or gave the purpose (like sending him back to Lian Yu, lol), and in some way her death is that one final straw which made me realize that "Arrow" I used to like is finished as the show.  
_

 _All I can do is to give Amanda Waller at least a proper send-off, which the show lacked to do._

 _A milion thanks to **Perosha** for beta._

* * *

 **Ripples in the Water**

Time slows down when Joyner aims the gun straight at Amanda's head. He asks Agent Michaels if it is true what Waller has said. Lyla confirms. Amanda is truly, fully prepared to watch every single man and woman in this room die one by one — and still refuse to give the access code to "Rubicon". She hears the words, but the exact phrasing escapes her notice. Because in an instant she knows that she won't make it out of this mess alive. Not this time.

Well, fuck. This is not how she planned this day to go.

She feels no fear, only cold anger. That's how her anger is, it burns slowly and leaves nothing but ashes. She never raises her voice, even when she is furious, her subordinates know it all too well. She bashes them with that distinct icy tone of hers, harshly and threateningly depending on what they did wrong or how much they stepped out of the line.

What she also feels is deep hatred. Joyner is on the receiving end of it, but it is caused by her own helplessness more than anything. She has an utter disgust for this feeling. She is used to having complete control over a situation.

And yet in a moment she is going to be executed. As a victim. A victim is the very last thing she was in her life. No matter the circumstances. Shrieve's men didn't manage to break her in Hong Kong, when they held her hostage for weeks.

The general wanted to keep her out of the picture, and get rid of her once his plan of using the Alpha-Omega virus was put in motion. She managed to escape, however, due to a streak of luck. Unfortunately for Shrieve, the man who he sent to finish her was an idiot. Instead of killing Waller in her cell straight away, he wanted to rape her first. But he made a mistake, thinking that he could easily overpower a fragile-looking woman. Amanda had a fierce spirit closed in that slim body. And although as the Director of A.R.G.U.S. she spent more time behind the desk than in the field, she was well-trained in hand to hand combat and kept in good shape. So once that soldier approached her, she used a moment of surprise to direct his own brutal force against him. He tried to choke her, but she grabbed his wrist, leaned forward with a swift catlike move, and hit him with elbow to the neck. He stepped back and reached for a gun in an instant, but she twisted his arm with a well-practiced move and made him drop it.

He still managed to wound her with a knife he pulled out, cutting her side, but she was more agile than him. She slipped out of his reach, got to the gun lying on the floor first, spun around, and shot him in the chest. When she was looking down on him, bleeding to death at her feet, she felt as if something were strangling her. She felt tears of anger prickling in her eyes _(hating that the emotions were getting a hold on her, because after all she was not as stone cold as she would like to be_ ), trying not to think with utter terror welling up inside her chest that in other circumstances, or if there had been more of them, she might not have gotten out of that fight victorious. That she would have been violated and killed shortly after. But she survived back then.

Unfortunately she is not going to survive today.

Even now, looking at the gun barrel aimed at her, she analyzes where she has committed a mistake. How the hell is it possible that there was _so huge_ of a security break in supposedly the most secret agency in on the world, that Joyner and his men got in without any problems? She won't have a chance to figure it out. She guesses her successor will have to take care of that.

But that how it is in this line of work. One big mistake or some small ones piled up together. It could be a missed warning signal. A door left open or a phone on the table. A look in the eye, words said too rashly, or someone you thought that you could trust, who betrayed you.

All of them are just another way to die.

When a stone is thrown into the calm waters of a pond, it causes some ripples to appear. Her death will also cause such ripples, maybe even violent ones, especially since it is a very bad time for A.R.G.U.S to be left without the Director (H.I.V.E. will use this situation to their advantage for sure). But they will fade away eventually.

Because after all, she is also _only_ an asset. More valuable than an ordinary agent, but not indispensable. And not irreplaceable.

When she dies the world won't stop. There might be a temporary mess in A.R.G.U.S, but the government will find someone else to lead the agency soon enough. _Maybe someone who will do something about that damn security breach_.

A man, probably. She knows, what they have been whispering behind her back — that this bitch is not easy to get on with, too stubborn and too independent, and it was a mistake to appoint her.

She worked hard to get to such a high position. She actually had to work twice as hard as any man to get there. She won against other candidates (all of them men) because she was the best qualified for this job. Had the guts to do it. Some superiors of A.R.G.U.S. were reluctant to appoint a woman, especially because in her late twenties she was relatively young for this post, but they couldn't push their own candidates through, and eventually agreed to Waller's appointment.

She was a very strict and demanding director, and left zero space for making mistakes. But that was how the world was. Unforgiving. She couldn't be otherwise. Not in this position. Not when hundreds of thousands of lives were at stake, especially in this time of global terrorism. Sometimes one had to make hard choices, sacrifice some individuals for the well-being of others. She was ready to level the whole city to stop Deathstroke and his men. She only hadn't because the Arrow and his allies managed to take out his army, and then the vigilante outwitted and defeated Wilson.

But if faced with a similar situation, she would choose do to _exactly_ the same again. Because there is no lesser of two evils. Only a calculation, and then a decision about what should be done. There is no place for hesitation, sentiments or second thoughts when it is a matter of national security. Some people deal only in extremes, and it is naive to think that anything less than extreme measures will stop them.

Ends justify the means — that was always one of her principles.

She put together the Suicide Squad, which many considered a risky initiative. But it worked, they have helped to stop many crises. Better to use criminals to do some good than let them rot away in prison uselessly. It gave them purpose. Some needed it, like Deadshot. He was an assassin, but used to be a soldier, so he agreed to cooperate with A.R.G.U.S. because it provided him a substitute for the Army. All she had to do was motivate him a bit and mark out the boundaries of the deal. So no, she had no regrets about placing the explosive chips in their spines as a precaution.

She wouldn't let such crazy people run completely free, would she?

Nobody will cry for her. Her parents are gone, and she never had a particularly good relationship with her siblings. Not like she cares. Two half-wild cats that kept appearing at her doorstep, knowing that they can always count on some leftovers, will probably miss her though.

Maybe some of her subordinates will remember her for a while. Because apart from being harsh, she was also very just. Other women had a chance to get promoted while she was at the helm of the organization. Not because she favored them over men. She just gave them _equal_ chances. Something which had not been given to her.

Maybe Lyla and Oliver will drink a toast to her name. They are both not too fond of her (to be precise she is very high on the list of people, who Oliver hates), but after the history they share there is some kind of understanding between them

Oliver might regret that she is gone sooner than he thinks. The next director of A.R.G.U.S. might be not that indulgent towards his vigilante activities. Green Arrow has no idea how many times she nipped in the bud the government's plans to get rid of the hooded vigilante. She talked them out of this rash decision many times, telling them that it is on her, and she is closely monitoring the Arrow's and the other vigilantes' activities. If she truly wanted to end him, he wouldn't survive a day. If she thought that he would be more useful in her Suicide Squad, she would give an order to capture him and have him locked up. But she knew him, and was well aware that he would be more efficient while free. It was better to let him think that he could operate independently, and cooperate from time to time when it came in handy.

Pity that Oliver is not here now with that bow of his.

But well, when Joyner kills her, it will at least give Agent Michaels and John Diggle some time to actually do something. Maybe then Green Arrow will also _finally_ show up. Where the hell he is and what he is doing? Amanda is sure that if he were his true self... the man she used to know, who she helped to create, pushing him in the right direction during his time as an operative of A.R.G.U.S., he would be here already. Maybe in such a scenario she would get out of this alive.

But if you have to count on anyone, better count on yourself.

He has became too soft for this. As the Arrow he was stupid and reckless, but efficient. As Green Arrow he thinks he can do what he is doing without shedding blood. His attachment to that ridiculous IT girl is his weakness. She has heard that now he wants to marry her. Not like she herself would be invited to the wedding. Or was looking forward to it, for that matter. After so many years of living this kind of life, he is still naive enough to think that there might also be some normality for him. He should think again, or he will learn the hard way that there is not. Feelings and sentiments and attachment are weakness. That is why she has none.

Damn...she was always sure that in this line of work she wouldn't have a chance to grow old. Not like she was looking forward to the prospect of becoming fat and wrinkled. And dependant on others. That was what scared her the most.

But it is still way to soon to go, after barely reaching the age of thirty-seven. Not that she celebrated her birthday with anyone, which was no more than two weeks ago. For her it was a working day like any other.

She's never believed in God, and never prayed in all her life. That is how she was born, and she's never actually wondered why her mind worked like that. The only thing she believes is that there is absolutely nothing after the death. Just a permanent darkness after consciousness fades away for good. Deep sleep one can't wake up from. And since there is _nothing_ after death, then at least she won't miss those few things that were meaningful to her life. Her work. The feeling of power... Of being in control. The satisfaction when a mission goes right. Or breathing the fresh, still a bit frosty air of an early spring (she likes spring). A purring, fawning cat (she didn't mind the hairs it left on her skirt, it didn't matter after hours). The taste of strong coffee. Or tea. She didn't have a preference. Or a drink of scotch. Making life difficult for Oliver was fun too, in it its own way.

Amanda narrows her eyes, looking straight at her opponent. Standing tall and unafraid, always elegant in her well-fitted jacket and skirt and high-heeled shoes. If she could, she would kill him with that piercing gaze. But she can't. She is not meta-human. Even if some of her subordinates were joking (when they thought she couldn't hear them) that she must be one, who could read minds and make you heart stop. She always knew when somebody was lying. Also how to make people nervous and uncomfortable, and force them to do what she wanted.

It is so pathetic that such a random thug is going to be the one who removes her from the equation. Permanently. An asshole feeling powerful only because he is the one holding a gun. Mr. Nobody. Maybe disregarding him was the mistake which lead her to her death.

When he pulls the trigger, she has one final thought in her head.

 _Screw you, Joyner._

A loud thud of gunshot.

Amanda Waller is dead before her body touches the floor.

* * *

 _Hope you liked this little story. If so, every comment will be very much appreciated ;) I added some background to the character and aged up Amada a bit. There is hardly any info about Waller in Arrowverse, and what I would normally do would be giving her the same age as the actress, who is thirty-one. But since I felt that it would be impossible that she became the Director in her early twenties, I added her a few years. There is one reference to comic/JLU version of the character, which you probably easily catch, and the rest is purerly my imagination._

 _I hate that Amanda Waller is gone from this verse, and I guess I need to take some break from watching the show, because it's too much for my nerves. What I hate the most is that those people from WB and DC threat us - viewers - as complete morons, who can't tell one version of the character from another. In the universe which orginates from the MULTIverse. Seriously? It makes me **not wanting** to engange in movieverse in any way. And I was looking forward to "Suicide Squad" movie. Now I hardly care. What will be next? They will kill off also Katana and Cupid, and level the headquarters of A.R.G.U.S., because people still might get confused?_


End file.
